What Is Emotional Or Stress Eating?
Emotional eating is when we eat to soothe an emotion (extreme positive or usually negative) and not for physiological hunger. The brain will try to seek a way to feel better and when we eat, we get an instant hit of dopamine (one of the “feel-good” hormones).
It is exactly the same when a baby needs to be calmed by being fed or held, which is a form of instant gratification that has stayed with us throughout the years.
While it is easier to turn to comfort food than it is to FEEL our emotions, it is no longer serving us and the MAIN problem is when we beat ourselves up after emotional eating episodes!
Think about it this way:
Emotional eaters: Don’t feel —> They eat —> Then beat themselves up
My suggestion is to: Practice feeling the emotion —> Don’t eat directly —> Be kind to yourself!
To understand emotional eating better, you can visualize it as a SPECTRUM that goes crescendo from “sensory gratification” to “comfort” to “distraction” to “sedation” and finally to “punishment”:
On one end of the “sensory gratification”, you are enjoying cake at a birthday party while celebrating OR savoring a muffin because it just sounds good.
Further along on the spectrum, you start to use food more and more as your main way to cope with your emotions and numb them.
The other end of the spectrum is “punishment” when you are eating chips out of anger or frustration.
When you slow down and stop before deciding on eating, you could answer those questions:
What is driving that desire for food in the first place? —> To switch to curiosity is the way to go! To be aware of our emotions and to understand the message behind them, without judgment!
What is that feeling all about and how can I better serve it? —> To identify the emotion and realize our needs better.
What else am I needing? —> To learn how to address the emotions without destructive behavior. Knowing that the food will not solve the emotions, rather just tame them.
I hear you asking: How to stop eating my feelings? &
How to cope with emotional eating in the longer run?:
Step 1: Deep breathing when stressed.
Since our bodies don’t know the difference between physical and perceived stress; by slowing down and taking 5 to 10 deep breaths, you trick your brain into believing that all is ok. It will also help you consciously decide on your next step!
Step 2: Jot down your emotions and make a list to get them out of your head.
For that, brainstorm 5 to 8 different ways to handle that stress.
Here are examples of coping mechanisms for your toolkit to use every time:
Identify and put a name to that feeling (loneliness vs. boredom)
Write your feelings/ emotions out on a journal/ letter
Your head will feel clearer and calmer
If you decide on having a food and mood diary, you can also link the comfort food with a particular emotion
—> You will be able to tackle the repetitive patterns (example: you eat chips when anxious and chocolate when sad)
Find joyful movement (any workout that you ENJOY, it should never be a punishment)
—> Examples: walking outside for some fresh air, Yoga, Zumba, weight resistance, HIIT or TRX etc. You name it!
Other hobbies (Coloring book, listening to music or a podcast, diving into a good book, knitting, dancing, taking a theatre class, praying or meditating etc.)
Consider therapy (just like you go to the dentist, your therapist is your mind’s doctor). It might take time to find the psychologist you prefer but it is definitely worth it
Set boundaries with family friends and coworkers à This includes not to be afraid to say NO
Unplug your social media when needed OR unfollow certain accounts that do not help your mindset
Recharge while having a good night sleep and spend time with family and friends as well as some much-needed alone time!
If you decide on eating, stay present (eat slowly and without distractions) and ask yourself: “how does the food taste?”
—> Being mindful will help you honor your fullness cues and not eat past your comfortable fulness
Step 3: You can also use the following grid when you are about to devour the comfort food in front of you:
Ask yourself “Am I hungry?” —> Yes —> Eat
—> No —> “What am I feeling?”
Am I Stressed/ Bored / Lonely / Angry/ Overworked/ Anxious etc.? OR
Do I have a hard time stopping eating since the taste is so good, and it makes me feel sad?
Feel those emotions (needs practice and acceptance)
Use the toolkit of coping mechanisms that you have on hand (Step 2) and give yourself some time to work through that emotion
Ask yourself if you still want to eat that cookie (taste/mouth hunger)
If yes, just own that choice and eat the cookie or finish the food on your plate!
Ask yourself how does this food taste? (Example: Chewy or crunchy? Too sweet or just enough?)
When you mindfully eat, you will most likely stop before feeling uncomfortably full and avoid the regret that follows overeating
Step 4: Most importantly, forgive yourself and remember that progress takes practice and repetition!
Stéphanie